Too Sensitive or Just Not Listened To?
When “you’re overreacting” makes you go quiet
Opening up about how someone hurt you is hard enough; hearing “you’re overreacting” or “you’re too sensitive” can make you want to shut down completely. It turns a real experience of hurt into a debate about whether you are allowed to feel what you feel. Many people then stop talking about what happened at all, not because it stopped hurting, but because it stopped feeling safe to share.
What emotional invalidation actually is
There is a name for this pattern: emotional invalidation. It happens when your feelings are minimized, dismissed, or ignored instead of being taken seriously. It can sound like:
“It’s not a big deal, don’t overreact.”
“You’re too sensitive, just let it go.”
“Other people have it worse, you shouldn’t feel that way.”
“That’s not what happened, you’re making it up.”
Even when people think they are “helping” you move on, the message that lands is: your feelings do not matter here.
How it makes you doubt yourself
When your reactions are repeatedly called “too much,” you slowly learn to turn against your own emotions. You might start to wonder if you are dramatic, broken, or simply bad at letting things go. Over time, this can lead to:
Questioning whether your memories or perceptions are accurate.
Feeling ashamed for still being hurt long after everyone else has “moved on.”
Bottling things up because you expect to be told you are overreacting.
A quiet, chronic sense of being “too much” for the people around you.
The original hurt can be painful, but the feeling of being alone with it often cuts even deeper.
When you have no one safe to talk to
If friends or family regularly dismiss your feelings, it makes sense that you start thinking, “There is no one I can really talk to about this.” You might go back and forth between desperately wanting to pour your heart out and not wanting to bother anyone or risk more dismissal. Common quiet strategies include:
Replaying the situation in your head, trying to decide if you are allowed to be hurt.
Writing long messages and never sending them.
Acting like you are fine around others, then collapsing into overthinking when you are alone.
If this is you, there is nothing wrong with you; you have learned from experience that your emotions have not been a safe topic in your usual circles.
Your feelings are information, not evidence of a flaw
Feeling hurt does not automatically mean someone is a bad person, and it also does not mean you are weak or overly dramatic. Emotions are signals that something about a moment, dynamic, or boundary mattered to you. Instead of asking “Am I overreacting?” it can be more helpful to ask:
“What is this feeling trying to protect or point to?”
“What would I say if I believed my experience was valid?”
“What kind of response would help this hurt soften, even a little?”
You are allowed to take your own inner experience seriously, even if others cannot or will not.
A space where you do not have to defend your feelings
For many people, the missing piece is a space where they can talk about what happened without being told they are overreacting, too sensitive, or imagining it. A non‑clinical one‑to‑one conversation can offer that: no diagnosing, no arguing with your experience, just a calm, confidential place to unpack what you are carrying.
In a session with Unburdora, you can:
Say exactly what happened and how it landed, without needing to tone it down or justify it.
Explore both sides: the part that is hurt and the part that worries you are making a fuss.
Practice trusting your own feelings again, at your own pace, with someone who stays present and does not tell you to get over it.
You do not need a dramatic crisis to deserve this kind of attention; wanting to talk about something that hurt you is already enough reason to be here.